Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
