he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
that is very illegal...i love you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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