so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
