Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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