i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
