I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
