oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
