Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
