the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
