Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
