New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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