I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
