Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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