That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
