the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
