he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
