South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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