hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
