Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
