it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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