I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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