You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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