Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
