just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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