Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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