can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
