Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
you never un-have a 4some
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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