His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
