Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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