woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
