he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
