8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
