It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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