I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
