i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
