her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
