So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize