I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I have tasted many bathrooms
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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