This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
