it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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