why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
