I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
