is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
