This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
