you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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