Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
