All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
