Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
