Only a mothe r could love this liver
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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