I woke up to her vacumming the grass
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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