I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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