I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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