I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I touched a dick in church today
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
