Please, let me fuck your mom
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Its about making memories worth repressing
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
