i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
