I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
