By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
