this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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