her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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