I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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