Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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