Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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