I'm eating all of the evidence.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
