Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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