sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
