What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize