he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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