"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
