Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
porn star boner night. come get it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
