i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
